greatest hurdle of my life

             Few hours ago, we went to St. Paul's Hospital to get the Breast Biopsy result of my mother. While travelling, I was so relaxed that I did'n even bothered to think about it, for the mammogram result revealed a benign tumor.My mother was at first, her usual self, but still admitted fear of God-knows what the result is. On the bus, we rode together with a cousin of mine who was also on his way to the city for a certain purpose. I was still then calm, but as we reached the entrance of the hospital, my hands became cold and clammy, I was bit nervous already. We first headed to the Histopathology to claim the biopsy result, after signing some papers, the result was handed to me, and as a medical-related student, my mother entrusted the interpretation of the test done on her. I was speechless by the time I saw the diagnosis written on the bottom part of the paper, INFILTRATING DUCTAL CARCINOMA. Right at that moment, I couldn't answer anything to my mother, father and cousin. I knew that it meant only one thing, my mother has cancer.
            I felt like melting right at that moment, and they noticed that I had gone quiet, and that was the time when my cousin got the paper from me and read it himself. We walked in silence, but we knew in our hearts that we would be facing the greatest hurdle in our life, as a family.

           We then went to my mother's physician, his secretary said he went to somewhere and that we need to wait for him. It felt like hell, it was a waiting full of agony for us. My mother then had the courage to read the result, and got herself disappointed by the time she realized what it meant. She then lost her composure and began crying, my father was beside her, giving courage and support. She was thinking the worst things that will happen to her, even though I knew something about her condition, still I kept my silence. I felt weakness all throughout my body, and tears are starting to be formed. Luckily, I had the strength to hold back those tears, for I thought it wouldn't help anything.

             The doctor finally came and we were called to get inside. I knew what he was going to tell us, that my mother has a certain kind of breast cancer and that she would be needing another surgery, now a major one and that is MODIFIED RADICAL MASTECTOMY. My mother, upon hearing, felt nervous even to the point of kicking my father, maybe asking for additional support. I was just only there at a corner, listening to what her doctor was advising her, but deep inside, I felt fear- fear for my mother and fear for myself, my brother and father. 

            Even though at times, my mother would seem like Hitler or some sort of typical strict teacher, she's still so fragile inside. She's the very woman who molded me and my brother to who we have become now. I really love her so much that I don't want her to suffer any more pain, but this coming operation of hers would help relieve her condition, and I sincerely hope that after all of this, I would go back home and see her losing her head on computer games. I really pray that her condition would be better, and all together, we will fight those cancer cells out of her body!!!

CRAVING FOR A SHIH TZU

For months now, almost more than a year, I've been wandering around, looking for a good dealer of shih tsu, luckily I've found some good ones, yet I can't still have one...

To start the ball rolling, let me state some important facts about shih tzus from www.dogbreedinfo.com.

Pronunciation	Americans commonly pronounce the Shih-Tzu as SHEET-sue, however, the actual original Chinese translation is - sure-ds In the Chinese pronunciation the "ds" is pronounced the same as the "ds" at the end of the word "Words". It is Chinese Mandarin, and translates directly to "lion". That is where the term "lion dog" comes from. The moniker "chrysanthemum dog" and "sheet-sue" are common in America, but are both inaccurate American renditions of the original Chinese.
Description	The Shih-Tzu is a small, sturdy dog, with a body that is slightly longer than it is tall. The head is round and broad, wide between the eyes. The square muzzle is short, an inch or less from the tip of the nose to the defined stop. The nose is broad, with well open nostrils. Nose, lips, and eye rims are liver on liver colored dogs and blue on blue dogs and black on all other colors. The teeth meet in a level or under bite. The large, round eyes are dark in color, but lighter on blue and liver dogs. The large, pendant, low-set ears hang down and are covered in abundant hair. The back is level. The muscular legs are straight and well-boned. The high-set tail is carried over the back covered in abundant hair. Dewclaws are sometimes removed. The double coat is dense and long, flowing down over the dog. The hair above the eyes is often tied in a topknot. There is a profuse beard and mustache and the hair on the muzzle is short. Coat comes in all colors.
Temperament	The Shih-Tzu is an alert, lively, little dog. Happy and hardy, packed with character. The gentle loyal Shih-Tzu makes friends easily and responds well to consistent patient training. They make a very alert watch dog.Courageous and clever. Playful and spunky, this affectionate little dog likes to be with people and are generally good with other pets. Some can be difficult to housebreak. The Shih Tzu needs all of the humans in the house to be pack leader, with the rules of the house made consistently clear. Owners who allow their dogs to take over may find them to be snappish if they are surprised or peeved. Because of this dogs small size and it's adorable face, they commonly develop Small Dog Syndrome, human induced behaviors where the dog believes he is the boss of humans. This causes a varying degree of behavioral issues, such as, but not limited to separation anxiety, guarding, growling, snapping, and even biting. They may become untrustworthy with children and sometimes adults, as they try and tell the humans what THEY want THEM to do. They will be obstinate as they take their stand and defend their top position in the pack. They may bark obsessively as they try and TELL you what they want. These behaviors are NOT Shih Tzu traits, but rather behaviors brought on by the way they are treated by people around them. Give this dog rules, and limits to what they are and are not allowed to do. Be their firm, stable, consistent pack leader. Take them for daily pack walks to burn mental and physical energy. Their temperament will improve for the better, and you will bring out the sweet, trustworthy dog in them.
Height, Weight	Height: Up to 11 inches (28cm.) Weight: 9-16 pounds (4-7kg.)
Health Problems	Prone to slipped stifle and spinal disc disease caused by a long back and short legs. Also ear infections, eye problems and early tooth loss. Tends to wheeze and snore and can have respiratory problems. These dogs gain weight easily and should not be overfed.
Living Conditions	The Shih Tzu is good for apartment life. They are fairly active indoors and will do okay without a yard. This breed is sensitive to the heat.
Exercise	The Shih Tzu need a daily walk. Play will take care of a lot of their exercise needs, however, as with all breeds, play will not fulfill their primal instinct to walk. Dogs who do not get to go on daily walks are more likely to display behavior problems. They will also enjoy a good romp in a safe open area off lead, such as a large fenced in yard. Do not over feed this breed or it will quickly become fat.
Life Expectancy	About 15 years or more.
Grooming	These little dogs require a good daily grooming using a bristle brush. When kept in along coat a topknot is usually tied to keep the hair out of the dog's eyes. Some owners prefer to have them trimmed to make the coat easier and less time consuming to care for. Keep the ear passages and area around the eyes clean. Shih-Tzu's have sensitive eyes that need to be kept clean. There are special drops you can buy to put in them if needed. Ask your vet what to use on your dog. This breed sheds little to no hair and are good for allergy suffers if their coats are kept very well groomed, do to the fact that they shed little skin dander.
Origin	Sixteenth century documents and paintings show dogs resembling the Shih-Tzu. The Shih-Tzu is said to have descended from crossing theLhasa Apso or Tibetan mountain dog and Pekingese, in the city of Peking in the 17th century. The dogs were favorites of the Chinese royals and were so prized that for years the Chinese refused to sell, trade, or give away any of the dogs. It was not until the 1930s that the first pair was imported to England, when it was discovered by English soldiers during World War II. The Shih-Tzu was recognized in Britain in 1946. The AKC recognized the breed in 1969.
Group	Herding, AKC Toy classed under the Non-Sporting Dogs category.

Even though I can't still have my own shih tzu, I'll never stop dreaming of having one. There's still more to life as they say, but I believe that every day is an unraveling mystery that each one of has got to witnessed.

My life is still precious but will be more precious if I'll have my own baby shih tzu.